So long Capt. till i see you again...

I am going to write before I forget this feeling.

I visited my dying uncle this morning at his home. It is just hard seeing him especially when you know it is just a matter of time. In away I have been postponing the meeting because i know it is going to be hard for me to let go of him when it was just about a year ago that we tried to be uncle – niece again

but then that's life. You don’t remain to be all stranger all your life. Somehow , someway, things gets fixed , as long as your heart stays open, it never stays broken.

People for a reason and a season. It just so happen that he is my uncle and A brother to my mom.

A role he had to play in this life.

I choose bravery than selfishness so I finally went to see him.

My heart ached seeing him that way but i manage to hold back the tears and hugged him instead. One of the longest and silent hugs to start the year. Still buffering and holding back the tears and then he let go of me. As i face him ,
He asked me " why do you love me? " I was surprised with his question but answered him " I don't know" I just know that I love you eversince...
and he started to weep. He weeped because it was my family my mom in particular who have tried to see him and talk to him these day and constantly checking on him.. His siblings of 5, ( living ones) excluding my mother, had just sent him money and some food but never ever visited him while he was in the hospital. He needed a lot of things but he needed love and his family’s attention . He knew he wasnt going to stay very long.

The questioned really had me thinking, What would be the feeling when were finally on our death bed, I realized that This is the ONLY honest time when we discover who really loved us not for what we were but for what we are now... My uncle was a self made man. Very intelligent and respected man of his industry. He had driven the most powerful airplanes in asia and the world. He had a time of his life.

And then he asked me? How old are you now? – I smiled back and said, you’re not that old yet but I am older now…he laughed and asked me again , I said I just turned 35. His eyes was surprised…

And said : oh my, It’s been 31 years . I asked : what about the 31 years?

31 years ago we almost die, the plane crash in Sarawak island, malaysia? - he reminded.

For some reason, My heart got a bit nostalgic, realizing that this was the man who saved my life and my mothers . I was then transported to that time ,I was almost 5 crying and choking over the flames that engulfed the commercial aircraft. I could well remember his last words before the touch down, He said to my mom, “florita, let me have shine and empty your lap and bend over.

My mom was frantic “ why ben? “ she asked, My uncle said, “tonta” just do it! He was SO angry and continued to cuss out( iv’e heard all the C’s of Spanish cussing ) And then he said…again ,” the moment I got out from this alive, I will kill this guy!” …no one understood what he was saying as , he spoke in Spanish but the people knew he was fumingly mad at the pilot.

As we were almost touching down, He hugged me and my left cheek clutched to his chest …And then there was a loud roar and smacked us down , then up and down , up and down, It was like we were thumping forever until the airplane swirled across the runway , there was a continues swirling of the plane and people were shouting and crying. I felt dizzy and holding my breath for the longest time. I started to pee endlessly, I was really in horror. I closed my eyes while we were spinning , I didn’t quite know how long it was but I thought , we were really going to die and this is it!

As young as I was, I knew about death. How couldn’t I? , Before this plane

How couldn’t I? , Before this plane crash , we were attending a burial. One of my mom’s brother who was murdered. It was such a stressful moment when one dies without any notice. Well like they always say, “Death is like a thief in the night, you will never know when he strikes and get you. “

Death was very much learned and that time when the plane crash happened, It was so obvious that death was just around the corner not for all of us though at that time.

Thank heavens!

NOT YET.

Inside the plane it was fuzzy, fire started creeping in the cabin then to the passenger area. We heard people shouting , “ kayu! Kayu! Kayu!” fire for bahasa ( malay). Fire! Fire! Fire! The plane was on fire.

Our time wasn’t up yet since, the plane crashed on the biggest fire station on the area. God had to stop the spinning exactly on the wide fields of the that particular fire station. Some American , Malay Philippine soldiers were on a training at that time, Immediately responded for a rescue… It made me realized that he had the knowing that we were going to crash and he secured me, he knew i was going to be the first one to be crushed since i can be instantly be carried by the pressure and the intense bumping of the plane. He enveloped me and my mom instead and had absorbed the stress while the plane was crashing. Or We would have been one of the unlucky ones on the flight , the rest was history.

My uncle had a clear memory as he began to tell me the story. I was teary eyed just listening to his details of what he really happened.

He was a professor in Manila and later in US Aero school in New Jersey.

He was a brilliant man and very generous. His weakness? Women !!!!

To his death bed, He knew I loved him. I couldn’t thank him enough for being my hero.

He never gave up on me after the accident and had to continuously brought me to the hangar whenever he was in Manila. He had a fancy lifestyle, flying all over the country bringing his own private 6 seater plane and he would tag me along with my other cousin steve. I was 8 and steve was 7.

This continued for so many years and that traumatic experiences faded away and in a way my uncle had helped me healed and overcome my fear of flying.

My cousin steve is now an aircraft engineer, He was so inspired to work with planes ever since we were flying with uncle ben and enjoying the views of different places during weekends.

Before I could even post this, My uncle passed away. I couldn’t thank him enough for loving me and for treating me as if I was his own.

Where ever he is right now, I know he is in a better place than the rest of us.

I just want him to know that the years we were apart , he knew I loved him.

I still do love him and will continue to include him on my prayer of thanks that he was once

my uncle and my hero...