Saving the best for last...

December 2008, Marks some breath taking changes in my life. We all do experience change from time to time but some transitions are just either amazing or decapitating.

I simply can not describe the journey but with the events happening in just one week is just too much for me to absorb. I didn't know what else to do...but Kneel down and stare at the face of the man I love. For awhile there was nothing coming out. Nothing.

I want to talk to him but I didn't know what will be the first thing to talk about. After a long dorky moments of stare , my knees got tired and I grabbed my bean bag and sat there for awhile, still staring at him. Searching for him.

It been the longest silence of my life.

I know my heart was overflowing but it wouldn't just come out. I felt the numbness and the blankness of my mind.

I got tired and slowly slouching and had closed my eyes. Yet picturing that face in my mind...hoping that he send me solace.
At that point where in I am almost in forty winks,drifting....

A loving thought came into me , "Your prayers has been answered, drink and be merry."

My eyes opened , confused on whether I was dreaming or not. Whether it was just my mind playing a trick on me, It didn't matter. However delivered to me, I knew He answered my prayers.

Something came up that week and I have been fervently praying for it for almost a year. Just that the timing wasn't so favorable to me.
But then, It is Gods ways when you expect him to be with you for some silly reason , He doesnt show up and when you least expected his presence , He shows up. Just proved to be that God is just around the corner, making us want him even if he hides his face sometimes and just doesn't give us confirmation of his presence. BUT -
who am i to complain? I just feel blessed and loved in spite of my being stubborn and selfish.

and so I began to thank him, even if I had a heavy heart, sorta mix emotions. "I knew you would but I just need to wait...right?" How can i doubt again." I said.

(well i did...but just confused why ALL of these now?....)

Suddenly I had to remind myself. "He is God and he choose the time not you. All you need to do is just follow."

Somehow along the things happened to me I have experience the sudden surge of flowing water in my heart.
Some are sad endings and some are overly beautiful events. That no matter how other people are convinced that God does not exists....a totally opposite of all the things happening to me....just made known to me and my family that God remains to be a mystery but very much ALIVE and truly loving, inviting us everyday to know Him.

In the next pages of my blog, I will try to talk about it.

The ultimate lesson I have learned is that , God might have other things for you not equally alike of what you have always expected but When there is a complete dependence on Him, a surrender, That inner peace stays and the worries slowly drifts away, there is still uncertainty of events but the somehow there is the strong definition of God's unending invitation to know him as God of love and mercy.