Distant Feet

September 2009

2009-09-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't been writing for the past months . Too much things to do and Time management has been very important with my business.

There has been too much going on around, traveling, learning a few things here and there.

Connecting to people from my old town. It is good to be home, somehow.

My son loves it, He will have to stay for a month to bond with his grand ma and grand pa who misses him so much.

I never forget to forgive everyday and not relying on my senses. Forgiveness has to be everyday to follow your Shepherd's voice.

IF i am to say and sum up everyday on september....

" JESUS SUSTAINS ME!"

May my heart be as blessed as
Our Mother's Heart
Her complete obedience to God's will.

2009-06-07T10:10:00.001-07:00

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

Jesus , YOU are the only one We need.

2009-06-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

The Magnificat and the Prophesy...

2009-06-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

F rom henceforth all generations shall call me blessed!

In the scripture reading, referred to in the Liturgy, as the magnificat (Luke 1:46-55), Mary (Mother of Jesus Christ), prophesied that from that time on all generations would call her blessed, despite many professing Christians choosing not to use this particular title, i.e. Blessed Virgin Mary, throughout the last two thousand years...
that prophecy has still been fulfilled!

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. He hath showed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away. He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.
Luke 1:46-55

---

The Great Exchange...

The other details, included in this prophecy, relate to the future subject of The Great Exchange, where the injustices of this present evil age will be redressed...

* The Lord showing the strength of his arm...
* The proud being scattered...
* The mighty being put down...
* The lowly being exalted...
* The hungry filled with good things...
* The rich sent away empty...
* Israel remembered in mercy.

Here we have one of the most beautiful proclamation of the love of God in the entire New Testament! Mary, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, prays this song or canticle which has come to be known as the Magnificat. ( Named, I believe, for the Latin meaning of the first line regarding the greatness or magnificence of God)

Mary, humble servant of God, sings of the great works God does for the lowly, for the hungry, for the servant. This is another call from Mary to practice humility.

Then Mary in the fourth line states that, “all generations shall call me blessed”. How do we reconcile this with her humility? Mary, like the prophets of the Old Testament, is prophesying. She is speaking a prophecy for the times to come. When all the generations call her blessed, she is not being glorified, but God is being glorified in her. She speaks not of herself, but of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit each of whom she is intimately related.

And Mary’s prophecy has been fulfilled! The Catholic church, the Orthodox Churches, and indeed all Christianity recognizes her importance, her blesssedness, in the story of Salvation.

God the Father, we thank you Lord for sending us Mary, who brings us closer to our final goal, Your son Jesus! Amen.

Mary’s prophecy,
gives us hope in great degree,
Thank God for Mary!

One country is caught by the SNARE....and it'll be a domino effect to the world.... many who have prayed for his candidacy but God has perfect plan for the world. No matter how the world will try to defy it. It has always and has been " Thy will be done."

Let us pray for all our leaders, We may be too little in the eyes of some men, even calling us "catholic / religious nuts" but all words will come to pass except for the promise and the word of God.

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the world.
Matthew 5:5

The start of the DARK era

2009-05-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

In some scene years ago in chat, I often hear about fellow christians trying to argue with a lot of things, especially about the bible and how it was interpreted. " The Christians" in the truest sense of the word. "Christians" all denominations that had believed on Christ's resurrection and as being the son of God.

Every time there is a debate like this, I have learned to not take it personally, And i go on doing my thing instead, trying to follow what is good. What is good? i would say being a follower of "Christ's work" and doing it passionately is whom i call the true Christians, no matter what denomations they belong.
It is really LOVE that moves me and how a person delivers it to his/her own life.
Meekness & courage of the heart to love without human gratification.

Difficult. but it is achievable. How? ..... a Christian will find out how.
Each one of us has a different way of converting our mind, heart and soul. Individually , We are what we are , and so God works with us according to how we take HIM in.
Some are fast learners , some are just too tight and too afraid , some are just complacent. Some just rely too much on their intelligence that in the end up doing and saying stupid things... I need not say a lot of things, So i wouldn't judge people by their actions. I leave it to the higher beings to do that.

I am like anyone , a sinner , a searcher very imperfect.

but reading most of what's happening to the world today had made me think...
Could this be an era where Christians gather and instead of displaying their self made righteouness, that they fight this battle against abortion?
Indeed no matter how i watch President's obama's platform on abortion. My conscious mind and my heart, SAYS it doesn't feel right, nor doesn't equal to being right. No equation will bring me to say , Yes, He is right.

I have given him the benefit of the doubt , even if my heart says , " no need to watch it" My mind had to be satisfied on hearing him, just to hear what he has to say.
I feel a certain shame, hearing him speak , as if he revealed his true self - the core of his values. He is nothing different. He is just another politician who wants power and he wants to have a taste of it while it lasts and I feel Americans didn't have any choice but to put their bets on him as their ultimate HOPE .

After hearing his stimulus plan, I sighed. Nothing is really new, just newly constructed phrases.
New voice , new hope? I wish.
God Bless America! ( praying)

Posting this and i absolutely agree with Rev. Piper.

My favorite reminder of the month:

2009-05-13T23:04:00.000-07:00

"Like a moth in clothing, sorrow gnaws at the human heart" Prov. 25:20. Sadness is a sure path to defeat. If ever we feel our heart attacked by sadness, let us examine the quality of our love and see where we really have placed our heart. Probably in ourselves.

May Feelings II Video

2009-05-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

Three Trees.

2009-05-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

F or those of you who dream I say: dream high and your dreams will fall short because God, who is a better dreamer, dreams about you. Believe!

This is a well known story you might want to read or re-read again just in case you forgot its moral.

"Once upon a time there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true.

One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one," and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree.

The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped . At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it."

So the moral of this story folks is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best. Now, do you remember what I said at the top of this page? How God's dreams are richer than yours? So dream, keep dreaming high but remember that he will always beat you at that because He is a better dreamer when dreaming about you. Thanks God!

This was taken from the notes of Fr.Fausto Bailos

The Simple Woman's Day Book - April 20

2009-04-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

For Today...

This was supposed to be posted 20th of April...
well, better late than never...:D

Outside my window.... is dark and cold....the grounds with fallen wet leaves, been raining the whole day. I love it.

I am thinking... How soothing is the sound of the rain...

I am thankful for....for the rain and the plants had water to drink again.

From the kitchen... Nice mushroom soup.

I am wearing... a cotton pink strips PJs.

I am reading... the poems of Pablo Neruda... warms my heart.

I am hoping... That i would be able to spend more time to my promise this week and this coming days...

I am creating... creating new designs for my bead collection.

I am hearing... the sound of seal - Kiss from the rose.

Around the house... it has been quiet and peaceful. Although there was a bit of stress, one of our dogs tried to pin down one dog. A dog fight... I guess they are just getting older, too cranky and grouchy for each other. :P

One of my favorite things... is trying to cook today....not one of my talent but my shanghai fried rice was really really good.

A few plans for the rest of the week... gonna travel soon, for work base and more work til first week of May.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

Painting Forgiveness

If you want to join Peggy, Please click here.

The Woman Christ has loved so much.

2009-04-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

We all have one God,and one saviour But the Rosary holds a big part of the faith to the Catholics. So many have tried to discredit the rosary and the Holy lady behind it. No matter what they say,they will always just remain as detractors.

In my experience, It didn't come overnight to fall in love with the rosary, It took half time of my life on this earth before I knew and fell so much in love with it.

Each beads speaks about the life of Christ in contrary to what they see or the wisdom is hidden when one can not see the logic of it but one can feel the fruits of the holy spirit in your heart.
no doubt about it.

It is hard to even put it all on words but the rosary paved a way for faith to attain peace. The lady is a gift to mankind and a perfect model for all human being. Full of grace and has perfected the holy obedience , and that to bear the child of God without any reservations.

I have read through some books that speaks about the love of Christ to His mother and How the blessed lady had took care of our redeemer when He was human and was Her son... only to know in the very beginning that Her Son is to be crucified in the end.

A mother's love can never be contained, and how she suffered seeing Christ died on the Cross , but as her words was " God, when , how, where , But they will be done!"

The Rosary is the giver of all graces in order for us to attain the union with her Holy son ...JESUS CHRIST. ALL for the glory of GOD , The Alpha and the Omega.

I will be posting some trivia questions on this blog and please take part of it if you want a gift of a traveling rosary.

Mechanics will be posted soon.

This is in tribute to the Twin hearts and to all mothers in the world.
The Rose garden which has given me the chance to activate that inner strength to love is just a miracle. My everyday miracle. :)

In return I want to spread gratefulness through loving and sharing my beads with you.

To all those who still despair, I invite you to pray the rosary and fully understand the passions of christs and how we are able to connect them with our daily life. The Rosary is the perfect way to remind us of the Passions.

For those who aren't catholics, you can still answer my trivia questions and have the option to recieve that gifts if you are one of the first top 10 who has sent the email.

In God , We are all equal in His eyes. No religion can save us but only through our faith and obedience to His holy will.
Humility is a start. :)

Trivia questions will be posted soon.

The Rosary beads and Me...

2009-04-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

The rosary with the medal

attaching the 1 and 2nd decade

Attaching the 3rd decade...

It has been a night hobby of mine to attach beads.
The beads are made of round swarovski crystal beads made
from Austria.
Color : Jet black ( article 5000)
Medals are in pewter and italian made.

so far 2 more decades to go....

:)

I Don't Get Much of My Prayers

2009-04-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

By: Rev. Daniel Berrigan , S.J.

I happen to be reading a few months ago about one of his book on " Short Sermons and Penance".
I thought of sharing this here through his words.

The title of this talk is in itself one of the most important that's ever come into your home. There are few people anywhere on the earth today, I suspect, who don't have a small suspicion locked up in a corner of their heart, a suspicion which they show to no one- suspicion which they don't even like to admit is there. It's something like that famous skeleton in the closet; It rattles away quietly in the darkness, it's very well locked, it hasn't seen the light of the day in many years; But it's there none the less. Perhaps in this talk we can at least take a peak at it. At any rate, Lets try to put a name to it. I would call this particular skeleton something like this: SUSPICION of GOD.

SUSPICION OF GOD: By that I mean,people aren't quite entirely convinced, that He's on their side. Life has not gone entirely well for the them. Somewhere along that process we call living,something has gone slightly awry; Childhood was well and goodm and youth had great ideas,great plans, but then there was the settling into life,the putting of one's shoulder to the wheel, and ,inevitably , the real thing was different from the dream. There was sickness , there were marriage troubles,there were fears,and memories of mistakes, and failures of those we loved and trusted, there was poverty without end, or prosperity that brought us no peace.
And there was maybe most humiliating of all , the the failures of one's self, the failures that hurt most,that were the least excusable, that changed things most further worst, And so on and so on, In Sum, God no one's side. God,who was ble to hear someone else - He turned aside, He refused , He had bigger concerns for other people, for larger is issues ; in any case , the Life HE has written for ourselves, and so it stands today, and we ask what was the use; the of so much prayer, so many tears, perhaps; even now and then, what the use of living....

So We set up the problem in our own hearts of it, Where no one hears of it, where it is close to us as we are to ourselves, and where , like the skeleton in the closet, it has somet ime to be opened and faced. Is God really on our side, Is HE for us, is HE really good, Is HE good for us?

Lets put the question again....IS GOD REALLY ON OUR SIDE? Maybe in that very question, and in the way we put it, the beginning of an answer lies. I mean something like this. Suppose my right hand had the power of talking back to me. And
suppose my right hand one day said, suddenly: " Look , i've spent some forty or fifty years serving someone else, Ive typed papers and cooked and washed dishes and brought home the groceries and dressed and steerred the car, Now, I am sick of it....
I'm seriously wondering if he's on my side; I'm thinking of going off on my own."
Well, ridiculous isn't it? The hands are our servants, they belong to us, they have no other job than to do our will, they only make sense because they are in our charge, and serve us...

Now let's look at our own question: I wonder if God is on my side...Isn't there something absurd, a little bit foolish , out of order, about a question that tries to line GOD up to do what we want , like another hand, another paid servant.

I'd like to rephrase our question a bit; and in the new question , perhaps we'll be somewhat closer to an answer. We'll no longer ask.
" I wonder if God's on my side." BUT -- " I wonder if I'm ON God's side?" I wonder if i'm doing HIS will, I wonder if I'm always careful to read EVENTS rightly, and suffering rightly, and setbacks and disappointments; to see them tagged with His will. I wonder if I ever pray in such a way that I 'm trying to step up to God's throne and order him down into my place. because that after all would not be prayer but sin. I wonder if I do not sometimes pray in such a way that I try to blackmail God. I wonder if I do not sometimes look on life as though time were eternity,as though my family, my peace, my security, my respectability, my good health , my future, were all of the here and now, and in the meantime, God can wait, heaven can wait.

What we forget is, that is very hard and austere thing to be a Christian, That God will literally have no mercy on a soul that chooses His GIFTS instead of himself. that God will allow us every human suffering to keep us from making our hearts into the trash barrels , filled with all the dirt and distraction and gadgets of this world. Sometimes, in a word, God's best mercy is to have no mercy on us.

My thoughts....

I have been pretty much guity of a lot of things. As i began my quest some years ago, I happen to be overwhelmed with God's blessings and the mere presence of his face in every success i had. But what happened when things aren't as sweet as it was before?.... What happen when things had been so difficult that even praying was even difficult to do? This is such a broad topic to talk about ...but i am so sure that something is happening here... Something is changing. One is Growth. No matter how we see it , we can't stay immature in faith. We need to learn something throught time and God is just so mysterious that we would be so tiny to understand his own will no matter how we try and even spend the rest of our days sulking and crying. We make our own miseries you know ....and God loves us no matter what, but we need to be patient and we need to realize which side are we really on. It is such a strong phrase when Fr. Berrigan said : We only love the gifts and blessings that God gives us rather than God himself, and when things are not favored or when things are against us, we question God and we send him our resentments. WE lose faith.
Up to this day, I would never perfectly have understood his will , at some point of my life, I have learned to recognize the gap of intelligence toward my pride and the wisdom of my Lord. and then suddenly , i stop fighting anymore and begin to rest. It is so hard sometimes to say, "Thy will be done", when there is so much emotions battling inside you. But to be honest, WE got no choice but to be obedient because God knows best even if it isnt the way we plan our lives to be. One can be honest by admitting that God doesnt really give us what we want but he gives us what we need at the moment.
Also Fr. Berrigan had strongly described the very truth intended for the society of today.. "Sometimes, in a word, God's best mercy is to have no mercy on us. " Tough love as we describe it. God is so stern that he wants us to repent and see the consequences of our actions. That he gives mercy to those who have a repentant heart, but to those who haven't humbled themselves, then HE can not prevent the consequences of lack of obedience and faith. It isn't about punishment, no. It is about humbling ourselves to see the truth He laid out through Jesus. To those who believe then it would be easier to enter because they have been purified through the inspiration of the blood on the cross, but to those who defy, it is going to be a tougher ride of undending loneliness. This isnt a punishment, it is categorizing the levels of one's heart and where your choices are. Can you imagine heaven with all these greedy creatures? It woudn't be a very good sight..struggles will still be around if these 2 species would still be in heaven. It won't be too peaceful then and im sure...that ain't heaven yet. So you see, lie or not. Good and bad couldnt be mixed up nor can live together. With or without God there will always be an occasion to suffer. With or without GOD people will die one day but where , how and where do you hang on your love for?
A person knows he has a soul therefore God gives a big deal about you and your prayers.

Next topic would be..." ADMONITION OF PRAYER" by : Rev. Eugene P. Murphy . SJ.

The Simple Woman's Daybook April 14,2009

2009-04-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

If you would like to join in and see what the other women are doing today, please visit Peggy here

For Today...

Outside my window.... is a large foliage , Green and healthy. It is quite humid tonight.

I am thinking...How sad that some people around the world still doubt the resurrection of Jesus. I am glad they remained to be the minority. :)

I am thankful for....for acquiring patience in spite of a very annoying day. The day went fine as I plan it to be.

From the kitchen... there were lots of shrimps again. Delivered fresh from my uncle's hometown. Another blessing.

I am wearing... Had just got out from the shower ,a nice gray cotton tee-shirt and shorts.

I am reading... books from skeptics around the world. I wouldnt want to mention names anymore since they will always be skeptics. :)

I am hoping... That i would be able to spend more time to my promise this week and this coming days...

I am creating... continously making some bead connections.

I am hearing...not much to hear in the air.,except pure humidity on the skin.

Around the house... it has been peaceful again. I am so glad it has become a habit for everyone to really forgive everyday.

One of my favorite things... is blogging , even if i dont really write that well. A form of my release.

A few plans for the rest of the week... more praying time... More pondering on my promises.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

love is what matters....

In relation to...

2009-04-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

It is sad to think that even to this day and age many still would want to disprove that the apostles were liars and that some of them have an inaccurate account of Jesus' work and most of all the resurrection.

The resurrection is very vital to the Christian faith. We all know why.

The Intelligence of this world is indeed not rested. They claim to have peace in their hearts but failed to act on virtuously. Without HUMILITY there can NEVER be REAL PEACE and A COURAGE TO SUSTAIN A LOVE ( specially when there is so much pain) in one's heart.
No matter how you visualize your spirituality, Goodness in one's heart is the most common denominator of living in peace and practicing the LAW to love.

Men failed to see that without the virtue of true piety...there can never be ENDURANCE TO LOVE..... no matter how we try to use our Intelligence, Intelligence would always want a reason why we should love and be meek. Intelligence can be acquired but Humility is a grace given by GOD. Now, can you tell why some don't have it YET?

I say YET, since there is always a chance to be humble and kneel down. Prayer would be a start.
An honest prayer to GOD. How can one hide his pride from God?
You would only be fooling yourself if you think you can hide it forever.

A priest could be a victim too nor any person who has the same holy vocations. why?
It is Self righteousness..( PRIDE) ( confidence in oneself and knowledge) as explained in the book of St. John the Cross , where his own people , priest and other who claim to be close to God would hide under the cloak of so called "holy vocations" Yet became prey to the other side even if they think they re pleasing GOD.

I will say it over and over again. HUMILITY doesn't mean that you accept everything that is false and do not defend the truth. HUMILITY means advocating without the arrogance ,what virtue is there to gain with arrogance when other people opposes your views? When one knows he is far intelligent than the other? but one can NEVER love with anger nor boasting.

It is just hard to explain but one knows who is deep rooted in love because he has to love.
no questions asked. A human being would be so limited but only with the Grace Of God and how Jesus has perfected it...that even in the end he was praying for his persecutor, indeed a martyr but can one be able to endure it, Would you have done the same thing? I doubt it. I doubt myself too. I would be in excruciating pain and i pray for my shit list? Noway! but because Jesus was the way and the life , HE was perfect. He was a symbol , He was the beginning of something beautiful and the truth - is We just have to accept and humble ourselves that indeed He was the son of God - In so many ways, God has revealed himself already. What else do we want?
What proof do we need , A humble heart may seem dumb but i am sure he would have the most peaceful heart ever lived.

I tried to read different books on skeptics...( by the way they were called skeptics because they can not prove that Jesus body was indeed hidden nor found. ) "As they usually say, to see is to believe " I would rather think their state would all be in limbo.....books ..whatever..still in limbo..( there was no BODY found) :)
Ofcourse... there was a resurrection.

as the discussion of one site was saying:

Former “hatchet man” of the Nixon administration, Chuck Colson, implicated in the Watergate scandal, pointed out the difficulty of several people maintaining a lie for an extended period of time.

"I know the resurrection is a fact, and Watergate proved it to me. How? Because 12 men testified they had seen Jesus raised from the dead, and then they proclaimed that truth for 40 years, never once denying it. Every one was beaten, tortured, stoned and put in prison. They would not have endured that if it weren’t true. Watergate embroiled 12 of the most powerful men in the world—and they couldn’t keep a lie for three weeks. You’re telling me 12 apostles could keep a lie for 40 years? Absolutely impossible.^"26

In anyway, I would still be rambling...lol but guess what, I know deep inside of every one's mind that disproves that resurrection is a hoax , still needs one thing....( human side of it) recognition! and love. Love , love,love,love , still love. I don't know how the world has treated them...but as I remember how Saint Teresa of Avila once said...
"Lord , IS this how you treat your friends...? no wonder you don't have much friends."
( she laughs) ...the humour was not meant that God didn't have friends but because even when you are with God you are NOT spared from trouble nor anxiety or even persecution. But He gears you up, He throws you help when one needs it. St. Teresa had written beautiful ways of knowing God even to the last days of her life. It was like the world was seeing her suffer but NOT REALLY. :)

as i mentioned...below that there is no enough explanation to a non believer nor a discussion needed to a believer.

TO us of all believers, Let us be the perfect example of who we claim to be. Not just in words but in full ACTION.
If we claim to love JC. then we follow his works and heart. I know its hard but one has to try
Having a prayer life is ALWAYS A POWERHOUSE.
Perfect weapon for conversion and the weapon to fight the unknown.
Always remember that!

God does listen to an honest and a humble heart.

Keep trying...
:)

"He holds his milk and still feels empty, i wonder why? "

CHRIST IS RISEN!

2009-04-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

Belief in the resurrection affirms something profound about Jesus himself..

Bishops Message - Christ is Risen!

The name Nikolai Ivanovich Bukharin might not ring a bell, but many years ago he was one of the most powerful men on earth. A Russian Communist leader, he took part in the Bolshevik Revolution 1917. He was the editor of the Soviet newspaper Pravda, and was a full member of the Politburo. His works on economics and political science are still read today. There is a story told about a journey he took from Moscow to Kiev in 1930 to address a huge assembly of Communists. The subject was atheism.

Addressing the crowd, he attacked Christianity, hurling insults and arguments against it. When he had finished, he looked out at the audience. “Are there any questions?” he demanded. Deafening silence filled the auditorium, but then one man approached the platform and mounted the lectern.

After surveying the crowd, he shouted the ancient greeting of the Russian Orthodox Church: “CHRIST IS RISEN!” The crowd stood up and shouted in a thundering voice: “HE IS RISEN INDEED!”

Amazed and dejected, Bukharin left the stage in silence. He learned that faith in Christ’s resurrection was deeply rooted in his Russian Orthodox communist followers!

Three facts point to the resurrection. First of all, the sudden and inexplicable faith of the disciples, a faith so tenacious as to withstand even the trial of martyrdom.

Secondly, the explanation of this faith that has been left by those who had it, that is, the disciples. In the decisive moment, when Jesus was captured and executed, the disciples did not entertain any thoughts about the resurrection. They fled and took Jesus’ case to be closed.

Thirdly, the insistence on the fact of the empty tomb. If it was full, you simply couldn’t proclaim a risen Christ.

However, it is the appearances that testify to a new dimension of the Risen Christ, his mode of being “according to the Spirit,” which is new and different with respect to his previous mode of existing, “according to the flesh.” For example, he cannot be recognized by whoever sees him, but only by those to whom he gives the ability to know him, His corporeality is different from what it was before. It is free from physical laws; it enters and exits through closed doors; it appears and disappears.

The disciples could not have deceived themselves: They were specific people—fishermen—not at all given to visions. They did not believe the first witnesses; Jesus almost has to overpower their resistance: “O foolish men, and slow of heart to believe!” They could not even want to deceive others. All of their interests opposed this; they would have been the first to feel themselves deceived by Jesus. If he were not risen, to what purpose would it have been to face persecution and death for him? What material benefit would they have drawn from it? What does the resurrection mean for us?

First and foremost, belief in the resurrection affirms something profound about Jesus himself. This was, in fact, the first concern of the early Christians and of the New Testament. By raising Jesus from the dead, God ratified the identity of Jesus as God’s unique Son and the revealer of God’s love for the world. Jesus is proven to be triumphant over death. Therefore love is stronger than death, as the Song of Songs had proclaimed.

Resurrection affirms in a powerful way the sacredness of the human body and of the whole of creation. Th e resurrection commits the disciples to fostering and protecting life in all its expressions as affirmed in Pope John Paul II’s promotion of a “culture of life” to counter the “culture of death.”

Sacraments are resurrection realities—transforming human life through the mediation of earth symbols made sacred and powerful by the grace of God. We believe that God’s grace and the divine presence are in fact mediated in and through created realities: the water of baptism, the oil of anointing in the sacrament of the sick, the laying on of hands in ordination, the union of bodies in matrimony, the bread and the wine of the Eucharist.

Our spirituality is not detached from nor hostile to the reality of our bodies. Belief in the resurrection of the body also affirms that we are not simply alien visitors to our planet with our true home located somewhere else and therefore being detached from our physical body and our essential link to creation itself.

The Christian commitment to justice must be constant, comprehensive and unyielding. But, at the same time, the vision of the Christian expands beyond the here and now to the transcendent world beyond death because of our faith in resurrection.

The quest for liberation from oppressive structures, the striving for an end to violence and conflict, the commitment to alleviate hunger and all forms of human suffering and the full realization of our hopes will be experienced not through any human structure or strategy but only when, through God’s power, the final grip of death on humanity and the created world is broken forever and when the human family, body and spirit, lives in communion with the God of Jesus Christ.

Finally, belief in the resurrection of the body should be seen as the most profound affirmation of the enduring value of human love. Fear of death, in many instances, is not a fear of physical suffering but a fear of infinite loneliness and isolation from all those we love. It is through our bodies that we humans relate to each other and to the world we know, and if our body no longer lives we wonder if our love for each other is just as fragile and limited. Belief in the resurrection of the dead and belief in bodily resurrection affirm that indeed love is stronger than death and that the consuming experience of our destiny is communion with a God of love and with all those whose love we have known.

“HE IS RISEN INDEED!”

- Bishop Frederick Henry, D.D.
Bishop of Calgary , Alberta, Canada

TO A BELIEVER NO EXPLANATION IS NEEDED.
but to
SOMEONE WHO IS IN DOUBT, NO EXPLANATION IS ENOUGH.

BEHOLD THE PEACE AND LOVE IN YOUR HEART WHEN ONE SURRENDERS
HIS OWN INTELLIGENCE , IT IS ONLY WHEN HE EXPERIENCES
TRUE FAITH WHICH GIVES LASTING PEACE.

Black Saturday

2009-04-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the Mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go anoint Jesus...

As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side... he said to them, "Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here."

- Mark 16:1, 5-6

There is no doubt that Jesus experienced excruciating pain... But Jesus did more than merely experience human pain. He transformed it. By offering his pain for others - for you and me - he filled even senseless pain with meaning. And that meaning is love, unconditional love. Jesus was totally innocent, yet he willingly accepted his passion and death out of love for us - all of us. In this way he models what we can do with or pain. We can unite it with Jesus' suffering and endure it out of love for others. Jesus' pain, as well as our pain, has little meaning without this unconditional love.

The cross and the resurrection. Suffering and loving. Fr. Demetrius summarizes it well in these words: "The suffering of Jesus was intense, but it was not his suffering that saved the world; it was his loving."

- Melannie Svoboda
[ With the Dawn Rejoicing: A Christian Perspective on Pain and Suffering ]

Today is Good Friday

2009-04-10T04:32:00.001-07:00

Remembering the Sorrowful Mysteries.

1.The Agony in the Garden...

Seeing Christ as a human being makes us realize how even the Son of the Father had to go to purification and had to face his fear. It is when i realized that even if you are surrounded with people whom you care and love, still , in the middle of the night, you find yourself awake and afraid of something and you're alone. There are always moments of isolation no matter how you plan your life, your activities and even sometimes we try to damage control our lives and our sins.

It is that we either find emptiness to lonely night or we try to search for God's face.

your choice. :) ( God loved us so much to grant us the free will when he can just mould our minds for his own glory, but he did not force himself to us. But he choose to reveal the truth in spite of the cloud of unknowing - FAITH)

You don't really need to go further away, all you need to do is acknowledge that there is indeed a God , a risen God, and that perfect surrender of worldly intelligence to be able to see his wisdom.
Humility is a start in accepting that we need God in EVERYTHING that we are and EVERYTHING that we do.

the agony may not be all agonizing when we feel the company of the spirit of love in spite of the loneliness and fear from this puny little world were in.

Spiritual Fruit: God's Will be done

---

2.The Scourging at the Pillar

Jesus was stripped out from his clothes and dignity. Mocked by his own people.
His words to John:

" if the world has hated you, remember that it has hated me first."
(John 15:18)
"Remember that no servant is greater than his master, If they persecuted you, you must not be afraid, The helper will come.... Who reveals the truth about God and who comes for the father"
(John 15:20)

...It is sad to realize that some human beings can be as mean as evil and insensitive with other peoples pain and labor and even to those who use the word "love" to claim that they practice it well...
But this is not something new to a christian life. Sorrows and pain are indeed necessary for conversion. The only hindrance to all this "change of heart " is pride. The sorrows and the pain makes us realize that we are only human, fickle and foolish at times and that we need God. How often do we need him in times of desolation., only because we need consolation? I have realized through the years is that we seek so many ways to console ourselves by going out with friends, working 24/7 etc... but what are all these? friends are limited people like me so why do i settle for something less and paranoia would never bring me anywhere...near a peaceful mind.
It is only through the surrender of my pride that i have to know the real peace which is with the God of Consolation. ( An experience with Him is indescribable...one shouldn't miss this) ;)

Spiritual Fruit: Mortification of the senses

3.The Crowning with Thorns...

They fashion a crown out of thorns, and forcefully press it down upon His head. In His bound hands they place a reed, as a sceptre, in mockery of His kingship.

...Now, how many of us has experienced this sort of mockery? but i am sure no one has ever had this close experience as what Christ had to undergo?

SO anything lesser of this pain isn't really that bad. Maybe it would be an occasion for us to renew our patience and humility. In times like this, we couldn't absorb everything in full strength of meekness unless we ask God to accompany us and make us strong to withstand the blow , If it is necessary to defend ourselves , then by all means we ask our celestial guards of angel and the communion with saints to back us up with God's blessings. It is pretty much gearing ourselves up when our enemy has only but hate to throw upon us while we have the full celestial warriors of God to defend us. But in times of when we shouldn't be defending ourselves, it doesn't mean that were weak , It is only when we realize that sometimes, were even too strong to even defend ourselves and the end result is just hurting the one who persecutes us. ( The persecutors hurt themselves far more than those whom they persecuted) In our own saintly ways, We inherit His kingdom, thus REAL peace and rest is at hand.

Jesus and Pontius Pilate:
Pilate asks,
"Are You a king?" Jesus answers: "I am a King, but My kingdom is not of this world."

True to His word, Your merits are never going to be in this world but in His Kingdom.

Spiritual Fruit: Reign of Christ in our heart

4.The Carrying of the Cross

Jesus condemned to death by crucifixion is forced to carry the cross to the place of execution.

... Most of US do not want any crosses, If possible we shouldn't have pains and tribulation in this lifetime., But have you ever considered that this world isn't paradise anymore? where sins and evil are permitted to roam and snatch us from every possible way? so it just impossible not to have any crosses nor trials in this lifetime. Embracing it is one way of fully accepting situations and that accepting that we can never be in control all the time. The word embracing is such a strong word to me but I believe that God fully equips the believer to have some shock absorber when the tremors exceeds the intensity 8. The aftershocks can be deadly too. But God has a way of showing his mercy on the time when we feel hopeless and abandoned. God is just mysteriously good. His timing is just the perfect time not necessarily agreeable to our own time and plans but He doesn't abandon a humble heart. He may not agree with you all the time, Just showing you the contrast of your dark soul against the light of his love and will.

Spiritual Fruit: Patient bearing of trials

5. The Crucifixion

The hands and feet of Jesus are nailed to the cross in the presence of His afflicted Mother.
"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
"This day you will be with Me in paradise."
"Woman, behold your Son. Son, behold your Mother."
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"
"I thirst."
"It is finished."
"Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit."
The side of Jesus is pierced with a lance. His body is taken down and placed in the arms of His Mother.
Father, by the merits of the crucifixion and death of Jesus, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

The Prophesy is completed. Accomplished. What miracle do we need to know?
Jesus ' coming and death and resurrection is the Ultimate revelation.
All we need to do is accept the promise and the redemption.
We can continue his work by imitation and forgiveness.
* * *

Even in death of Christ doubting leads us to more confusion and who else are you in debate with ? God or your the inner pride in you ? * * *
The tremendous strengthof martyrdom is unexplainable...
the deep flow of love, humility, endurance and forgiveness of the saints is never achievable without the graces of the Holy spirit. To those who abide under the shadow of almighty will surely not perish in vain. The world will never witness it but the secrecy of God's work is just beautifully unexplainable and something to look forward to isn't it?
nuff said.

Spiritual Fruit: Pardoning of Injuries

it's LOVE TIL THE END...

The Simple Woman's Daybook ~ April 7, 2009

2009-04-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

If you would like to join in and see what the other women are doing today, please visit Peggy here

For Today...

Outside my window.... is dark peaceful summer night in asia.

I am thinking... how may day has ended. It was pretty relaxing and cozy after a day's cleaning up and how the new lampshade has made my bedroom comfy and soothing.

I am thankful for....my grandmother for the sumptuous meal and the chicken soup for dinner. How lovely it is to dine with the people you care the most.

From the kitchen... its chicken soup...ala ( grandma) some fresh yellow and green mangoes and cookies and cream ice cream...mmmm...

I am wearing... comfy blue colored jammies and gray tank top .

I am reading... some inspirations from the thoughts and the learning of Marilyn Norquist which i have posted some days ago...Still reading it and enjoying it as letting them linger in my thoughts .... hoping for a deeper contemplation. ( awake )

I am hoping... for a cooler day tomorrow, I will have to do my afternoon walk with my son Geo.

I am creating... a rosary for a dear friend. Started one decade of looping and connection. :0)

I am hearing... a sound of looney tunes from my son's bedroom and a soap opera from the other end of the hall., must be grandma's room and while i am playing the piano version on mp3- the linkin'park's numb ( another kinder rendetion- not bad.)

Around the house... it has been peaceful and very relaxing as when all people seem to like each other more than yesterday. :0)

One of my favorite things... is writing in my journal at day's end and looking for unique renditions of some songs online.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Just relaxing and spending quality time with my family. Focusing more on lent's reflection readings and hopefully God grants contemplation one of these days.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you...

Reflections on Lent - April 6 '09

2009-04-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

Daily Reflections on Lent:

"Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow afterward." Peter said, "Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, " Will you lay down your life for me? Very truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me three times."

- John 13:36-38

Christ will never turn away from us, whatever we do or become, even if we turn away from him; this is the clear teaching of the Christian faith. But it was also clear that Christ will not condone our remaining unreal. He will not allow us to hide in our illusions and pretenses but will call us, sometimes even constrain us, to face them and uproot them from our hearts and thus come back to our true reality. He calls us to repent for them.

This does not happen in a single moment; if we saw all of our unreality all at once, it might lead us to despair. Christ's mercy instead leads us to it slowly, step by step. One moment it may be a negative emotion - jealousy, resentment or fear - that has been eating away at our heart but that we had not been able to understand or acknowledge until now. The next moment we are asked to face and to dismantle our pride or egotism or any other of the countless tendencies and feelings that keep us from being true to ourselves.

- Irma Zaleski
[ Finding Christ Within ]

W hat's the Difference between Prayer, Meditation, and Contemplation?

2009-04-05T22:28:00.001-07:00

W hat's the Difference between Prayer, Meditation, and Contemplation?
hat's the difference between prayer, meditation, and contemplation?

These three terms have been used rather loosely by the church over the past several centuries, but each of these terms designate very specific acts. Although the word prayer has always been a somewhat generic word used as an umbrella to cover virtually all communication between the profane (the physical world) and the holy (the spiritual world), it also carries with it a specific style of communication.

Prayer, in its specific meaning, means to ask or beseech God for something or another. A slightly broader understanding would include any sort of "talking" with God. Most people who pray at all are most familiar with prayer. Table grace, bedtime prayers, crisis pleas, and so on all fall under this definition of the word. Certainly prayer is the best known form of communication with God.

But prayer only covers a very small segment of the "divine communication" field. Meditation was popularized by the Transcendental Meditation movement a couple decades ago (TM was characterized by people sitting in lotus positions chanting "ooohhhhhmmmm"). Many --most -- churches viewed TM as tantamount to dabbling in the occult, and so mediation became a "dirty" word in many circles. However, meditation had been practiced by the Israelites long before TM. In Joshua 1.8 we read, "The book of law shall not depart from your mouth; you shall meditate on it day and night." The Hebrew word translated as meditate carries with it a sense of mumbling or murmuring, though the murmuring was meant to be the points of the law. In the early church, however, meditation could be compared to TM.

The practice of meditation includes the intent concentration on an object worthy of consideration. Most often, in the church, this would be a particular passage of scripture. Some of the more popular passages have been short phrases such as "Lord Jesus, have mercy upon me, a sinner" and "Be still and know that I am God." Generally, these phrases are repeated (murmured) and every other thought is purged from the mind so full concentration can be brought to bear on this single-minded devotion. The purpose of meditation is to offer devotion to God, to obtain deep understanding, and to garner tranquility. Many who practice this form of prayer claim they reach a spiritual presence and union with God.

Contemplation is generally considered the most difficult form of prayer to achieve, in essence because one can not really "achieve" it. In contemplative prayer, one seeks to empty their very being, allowing God to fill them with God's presence and love -- allowing them to become one with God. Unfortunately, this state of union, or "one-ed-ness" as the 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich would call it, is elusive. The more we try to clear our head of thoughts, the more we become aware of the thoughts in our head. For those fortunate enough to experience one-ed-ness, they find that it's been lost at the moment they become aware its been found! The more one strives for it, the further away it gets. The more one puts into it, the less room there is for God to come into them. Contemplatives have found that full union is a gift from God, not something achievable through their own doings.

So why engage in contemplative prayer? Because the practice itself offers an opportunity to re-center and focus. But even more, contemplatives claim that nothing can compare to those times when the fullness of contemplation is realized. They describe overwhelming feelings of being loved, a sense of peace beyond understanding, vivid images or pictures which carry meaning for themselves or loved ones. In the words of Jesus, arguably the premier contemplative, they experience his sentiments, "I and the Father are one" (John 10.30).

Prayer, meditation, and contemplation then are quite different in focus and practice. And yet all three strive to achieve something that seems to be an innate need for all humanity -- the need for communion with the divine. For those willing to risk the known, much peace can be discovered in the unknown.

Marilyn Norquist-The Beatitudes

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

2009-03-31T02:31:00.000-07:00

In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days.

The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."

You got to love a Judge that knows his scripture!

This is too good not to forward.

2009-03-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

T hinking of unwinding and finding the other side of the world....well this one below is home and work base.

Been saving for a vacation in Macau someday....hopefully not alone this time. :)
( nuestra que bonita macau ) tierra nina.

Wishing for cupped hands.... :)

“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.”

Lovely...

2009-03-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

I got worried about Emily. I have been trying to get in touch with moorie and wanted to know how emily was. The last time i heard, She had her last chemotherapy session. No email , no offline messages, nothing....I don't usually worry about her but today i got a bit worried for not really hearing from them.
London has become too busy i guess. :P

well 9pm to be exact, Moorie emailed me that everything is just fine. Emily is returning home 2 days from now. I felt a sudden relief.

Moorie, sent me a nice poem which emily loved.

I'd like to share it:

Dear Lord:

Because love is patient: Help me to be slow to judge, but quick to listen, hesitant to criticize, but eager to encourage, remembering your endless patience with me.

Because love is kind: Help my words to be gentle and my actions to be thoughtful. Remind me to smile and to say "Please" and "Thank You" because those little things still mean so much.

Because love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud: Help me have a heart that is humble and sees the good in others. May I celebrate and appreciate all that I have and all that I am, as well as doing the same for those around me.

Because love is not rude or self-seeking: Help me to speak words that are easy on the ear and on the heart. When I'm tempted to get wrapped up in my own little world, remind me there's a great big world out there full of needs and hurts.

Because love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs: Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me. When I want to hold onto a grudge, gently help me release it so I can reach out with a hand of love instead.

Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth: Help me stand up for what is right and good. May I defend the defenseless, and help the helpless. Show me how I can make a difference.

Because love always protects and always trusts: Help me to be a refuge for those around me.When the world outside is harsh and cold, may my heart be a place of acceptance and warmth.

Finally, because love always perseveres: Help my heart continually beat with love for You and others. AMEN.

---

A better vision

2009-03-20T20:43:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile and the journey of the unknowing with or without the senses has been the most profound revelation to me.

Sometimes, You can NEVER explain the experiences you have had since it is just too personal to even make another human heart know your pain and your inner joy when it finally happened. But the only thing visible is that people around you see you in a new light. A different and more luminous light and your being becomes less heavier that what it use to be.

We all lose the glow from time to time because some other things rob off our peace of the heart but the struggle to keep the torch lighted is what is important. It is always a choice.

Blessed are those whom God had paired for life. To have and to hold.
( With God in between hearts )

Blessed are those who have family to BE with in times of adversity.
Blessed are those who have true friends who love them for what they truly are.
Blessed are those who have their health and could enjoy the morning walks.
Blessed are those who can see goodness in spite of this crazy world.
Blessed are those who chooses to be good in spite of this cunning world.
Blessed are those who love in spite of the brokenness.
Blessed are those who are brave even if there is fear.

The Heart

2009-03-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

When do you stop loving?

I guess , you never stop. Even if things aren't the same , The feeling has been installed forever. The degree of the senses just falls back but your mind and heart knows it's there...
Whether it was a romantic love or pure friendship.

God has a way of making you realize that one truly loves you never run out of it. Even if it hurts. The care and the love of brotherhood and sisterhood just permanently grows within you. It means you have practice the law very well and brave enough to nurture it even if it doesn't nurture back. No ill feelings and hatred can come or linger inside your heart. Nor envy can ruin your soul.

When you truly love, It is only when you know you are FREE.

Love with all your might!

Before they were biblical superstars...

2009-02-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

Here's what a few of the Bible's most well known people did
before they became famous...

Noah was a farmer - He went on to build the Ark.

Abraham was a livestock owner - He would one day become
founder of the Jewish nation.

Joseph was a slave and a prisoner- He would later become
the ruler of Egypt.

David was a shepherd who became Israel's greatest king.

Matthew started out as a tax collector but finished as a
disciple of Jesus.

Peter was a fisherman who became a fisher of men, leading
the early church.

You see,
God uses ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things.
The people above are just like you and I.
What made God use them was their willingness to be used.

So just because the world may not see you as someone special,
take heart because God does.
If you are willing to be used by the Lord,
He will use you for great and wonderful things.
Maybe you won't part the Red Sea or lead a nation,
but everyday you will represent the Living God to the dying world.

And that makes you truly extraordinary.

By - Paul Kusiak

Heart's Day!

2009-02-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

T0 My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED

Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'

To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when
someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it.

If he isn't worth it now,
he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....

I asked and asked...

2009-02-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

I asked God to grant me patient.

God said NO.
Patience is by - product of tribulations; it isn't granted , it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said NO.
I give you blessings, Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me from pain.

God said NO.
Sufferings draws you apart from worldy cares and brings you close to me

I asked God to make my spirit grow

God said NO.
You must grow on your own but I will prune you to make you fruitful

I asked God for all the things i might enjoy life

God said NO.
I will give you life so that you will all things.

I askd God to help me love others, as much as God loves me.

God said:
Ahhh, finally , you have the idea.

from the simplified version of St. John the Cross' " The Dark night of the Soul"

The other way to say it..

2009-02-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

DO not BELIEVE IN ME.
IF I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD.
BELIEVE IN ME ONLY IF I BELIEVE IN GOD.

My friendship with Him.

2009-02-06T05:54:00.000-08:00

W here do you think i draw my strength from?

Thank you for saving my day again.

YOU ARE AMAZING!

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
(John 14:27)

I sometimes felt I am favored, is it probably because you want other people to see it ? not for the boast but as a
LIVING witness to you.?
You do not favor me all because for the glory of my own very self but instead
you want
them to see the words that had put a stake into my heart
but actually they didn't get to the biggest artery of my soul but
instead they have pierced your heart for blasphemy and they are mocking you
and not me.
It is the human eye that decieves them.

Thank you , My God for bringing me strength when adversity came
and had given me power of silence even if i was tempted to
fight back and talk back and be like them. It was a much more easier path if i
did that.
But you have blessed me with the grace to hold on and keep
my cool til it was time to speak up.
Thank you for carrying me and putting me into your lap when
i needed so much solace
just to be able to get through the day when i come to work everyday.
Suddenly going to work seems an ordeal but every time
I am reminded of my plight...
Deep inside I knew it was worth all the pain.
I choose to the road less taken and stood up
for the moral changes and human dignity when no one cares about them
it is when I knew.
that one minute at work isn't going to be wasted for you my God.

After the speech I made, Which I totally credit to you, as the
lover of my soul, YOU have engulfed me with your love and wisdom
at that special time that i don't even remember what i said.
You took over my soul, healed my weary mind
and replaced confidence and love in my heart but
with sincere conviction to tell the truth.

The words of wisdom just flow freely because i have you in my heart
and thank you for taking care of the rest.

The success now is even sweeter.
So sweet that i felt so blessed and somehow in this puny heart of mine,
felt vindicated.
I know this is human nature , but help me grow Lord, not
to focus on my own satisfaction but instead rejoice for the
truth is out.
Please teach me to be humble again and always, inspite of the
blessing and happiness that i experience today and the past few days...

Today was just awesome where I earned respect and appreciation.
But honestly, I am grateful that
I am able to stand for you and hoping that i have please your tender heart
and what i believe was right
to glorify you in this material world when spirituality
isn't important to a society of make belief and
mortal self glorification.

I hope they have realized that NO
one is INVINCIBLE Except YOU!
no matter what names they give you
they couldn't argue that there is
really a great force out there...

That they realize that it is YOU who gives them the sun and the moon
the wind and the faith.

Without them wanting faith, then
they will never experience it. You have loved us unselfishly
that even faith has to be wanted in free will so we can
drink and absorb the power of the holy spirit.
Other than that faith
they all fall for oblivion, a loop when there is no end but
a deafening silence and desperate loneliness.

BUT your heart is just full of mercy.
I still believe that YOU always give time, and the time
is Now.
It is just a matter of choice and
breaking every inch of pride in one's body.
TO admit that WE NEED YOU!

My fellow friends will forget today and will forget about me.
BUT I wish they will never forget you and the SIGNS
that you are changing the world.

Thank you for allowing the darkness so I can appreciate the light.

Please help me Jesus to go deeper in faith and humility everyday
I WILL NEVER WANT TO GO ASTRAY EVER AGAIN.....

My heart just felt so LOVED!

Chain of thoughts...

2009-02-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

Another familiar shared thought from a good friend ...HM.

"He said...God didn't promise a "beautiful life" but a "good life" when we follow him.
Beautiful doesn't always follows goodness. Goodness doesn't always follow beauty, Anything that is beautiful and NOT good is not of GOD."

My thoughts to connect : " Yes, very true and ONE can only be truly beautiful when one has GOD in his heart.
Infact, even those who think they are quite far from any religious life, The Goodness of the heart comes from somewhere...all we need to do is thirst for a more upclose and personal - individual relationship with Him.
The ONE and ONLY GIVER OF REAL GOODNESS AND BEAUTY. One is assured to never ran out of it when one continues to labor for his faith.
You will be perfect but at least one has to try... :) and just be good.
He will take care of the rest.

Praying it Forward!

2009-02-02T08:55:00.000-08:00

D o you know that when someone else is praying for you with all his honesty and pure heart , God listens to you more , The prayer for a friend, a son, a mother or any person whom you feel has an immediate need for it, Is better heard than praying for your own needs?

Yes, I have seen it happen lately. I will probably talk about it when i got more time for blogging.

Something about our family's dilemma and It only took a sincere pure heart then the answer came along on the last 2 minutes. GOD IS JUST AMAZING! I get the goosebumps every time i remember this. ( Jan 22,2009) I had made some research about this, When God is more passionate to your prayers when you pray for other people. Took me awhile to get all the answers but it made sense. God wants us to love Period. When we pay attention more to our needs and wants ,we tend to be selfish and self centered and sometimes greedy. Ego centered prayers, the "me- me- me- mine- mine- " prayers.
God doesn't like greedy people since HE is a very generous God and God wants us to give whenever we can, It is only in giving that we practice one of his law which is "TO LOVE". :)

You can actually give without loving but you can never love when you do not give.

Reading books about love without practice is useless and quoting and telling friends by word of mouth is useless if you do not show it. It is easy to show love when everything is happy and convenient but would you be able to show love even when it is the hardiest?

It IS only when we try not to be selfish and put the needs of the others first before ours than we can say we have practiced it. There is more to life than your own sufferings. It is like when you give off your precious time or something very intimate which is your care and putting aside your need temporarily because someone needs you more or that someone needs the prayer more than you do...it is the only time that you begin to live as a true christian. (imitating christ , for the purpose of loving his work and gratitude over the cross) Unlike the fakeychristians - the immitation of the originals..,who failed to even love their neighbors.(LOL)

It is a process, I told my friend Norma, the other day that , Do not be afraid to go to the process, It may not be a famous road to go...but you are sure of a lasting and enduring supply of grace and one of them is peace.

God didn't promise money or material convenience ( don't expect to win the lottery either)but HE did promise a good life and lasting peace of the heart.

We all know we will never reach the perfection while we are still alive , but wouldn't it be nice and rewarding if you get to taste that place where you can be at peace, not with any person but a divine spirit. It is unexplainable, Those who hasn't experience it will never know or have an idea what i am talking about...Some would even say i am delusional, that i am only making it up. Honestly, it doesn't bother me anymore, Those comments are not meant to hurt me but because " that experience" i was talking about is something which not everyone can have UNLESS you thirst for it. Your hunger should be very deep for you to see how sumptuous your meal was. It isn't because those whom have experience it are angels or holy, NO. a big NO. It is because one has to surrender the wisdom of the world so one can embrace the transformation. Yes, it is a transformation. One can not experience Not because you lack knowledge , not because you are unholy or not because you are not good enough it is because you do not long for it, do you know that even curiosity and acting up on it sends a spark to God's heart ?

Wouldn't it be a better world if everyone doesn't just pray for his own very needs but prays sincerely for the other...more like "praying it forward" i am praying for you and you pray for me and domino effect. Don't you think this would be a less selfish world?

I will soon be posting some readings for my dear friend Norma. How can i refuse a good friend's
request. Faraway friends are God's blessings and thank God for the internet. :)

So long Capt. till i see you again...

2009-01-31T08:49:00.001-08:00

I am going to write before I forget this feeling.

I visited my dying uncle this morning at his home. It is just hard seeing him especially when you know it is just a matter of time. In away I have been postponing the meeting because i know it is going to be hard for me to let go of him when it was just about a year ago that we tried to be uncle – niece again

but then that's life. You don’t remain to be all stranger all your life. Somehow , someway, things gets fixed , as long as your heart stays open, it never stays broken.

People for a reason and a season. It just so happen that he is my uncle and A brother to my mom.

A role he had to play in this life.

I choose bravery than selfishness so I finally went to see him.

My heart ached seeing him that way but i manage to hold back the tears and hugged him instead. One of the longest and silent hugs to start the year. Still buffering and holding back the tears and then he let go of me. As i face him ,
He asked me " why do you love me? " I was surprised with his question but answered him " I don't know" I just know that I love you eversince...
and he started to weep. He weeped because it was my family my mom in particular who have tried to see him and talk to him these day and constantly checking on him.. His siblings of 5, ( living ones) excluding my mother, had just sent him money and some food but never ever visited him while he was in the hospital. He needed a lot of things but he needed love and his family’s attention . He knew he wasnt going to stay very long.

The questioned really had me thinking, What would be the feeling when were finally on our death bed, I realized that This is the ONLY honest time when we discover who really loved us not for what we were but for what we are now... My uncle was a self made man. Very intelligent and respected man of his industry. He had driven the most powerful airplanes in asia and the world. He had a time of his life.

And then he asked me? How old are you now? – I smiled back and said, you’re not that old yet but I am older now…he laughed and asked me again , I said I just turned 35. His eyes was surprised…

And said : oh my, It’s been 31 years . I asked : what about the 31 years?

31 years ago we almost die, the plane crash in Sarawak island, malaysia? - he reminded.

For some reason, My heart got a bit nostalgic, realizing that this was the man who saved my life and my mothers . I was then transported to that time ,I was almost 5 crying and choking over the flames that engulfed the commercial aircraft. I could well remember his last words before the touch down, He said to my mom, “florita, let me have shine and empty your lap and bend over.

My mom was frantic “ why ben? “ she asked, My uncle said, “tonta” just do it! He was SO angry and continued to cuss out( iv’e heard all the C’s of Spanish cussing ) And then he said…again ,” the moment I got out from this alive, I will kill this guy!” …no one understood what he was saying as , he spoke in Spanish but the people knew he was fumingly mad at the pilot.

As we were almost touching down, He hugged me and my left cheek clutched to his chest …And then there was a loud roar and smacked us down , then up and down , up and down, It was like we were thumping forever until the airplane swirled across the runway , there was a continues swirling of the plane and people were shouting and crying. I felt dizzy and holding my breath for the longest time. I started to pee endlessly, I was really in horror. I closed my eyes while we were spinning , I didn’t quite know how long it was but I thought , we were really going to die and this is it!

As young as I was, I knew about death. How couldn’t I? , Before this plane

How couldn’t I? , Before this plane crash , we were attending a burial. One of my mom’s brother who was murdered. It was such a stressful moment when one dies without any notice. Well like they always say, “Death is like a thief in the night, you will never know when he strikes and get you. “

Death was very much learned and that time when the plane crash happened, It was so obvious that death was just around the corner not for all of us though at that time.

Thank heavens!

NOT YET.

Inside the plane it was fuzzy, fire started creeping in the cabin then to the passenger area. We heard people shouting , “ kayu! Kayu! Kayu!” fire for bahasa ( malay). Fire! Fire! Fire! The plane was on fire.

Our time wasn’t up yet since, the plane crashed on the biggest fire station on the area. God had to stop the spinning exactly on the wide fields of the that particular fire station. Some American , Malay Philippine soldiers were on a training at that time, Immediately responded for a rescue… It made me realized that he had the knowing that we were going to crash and he secured me, he knew i was going to be the first one to be crushed since i can be instantly be carried by the pressure and the intense bumping of the plane. He enveloped me and my mom instead and had absorbed the stress while the plane was crashing. Or We would have been one of the unlucky ones on the flight , the rest was history.

My uncle had a clear memory as he began to tell me the story. I was teary eyed just listening to his details of what he really happened.

He was a professor in Manila and later in US Aero school in New Jersey.

He was a brilliant man and very generous. His weakness? Women !!!!

To his death bed, He knew I loved him. I couldn’t thank him enough for being my hero.

He never gave up on me after the accident and had to continuously brought me to the hangar whenever he was in Manila. He had a fancy lifestyle, flying all over the country bringing his own private 6 seater plane and he would tag me along with my other cousin steve. I was 8 and steve was 7.

This continued for so many years and that traumatic experiences faded away and in a way my uncle had helped me healed and overcome my fear of flying.

My cousin steve is now an aircraft engineer, He was so inspired to work with planes ever since we were flying with uncle ben and enjoying the views of different places during weekends.

Before I could even post this, My uncle passed away. I couldn’t thank him enough for loving me and for treating me as if I was his own.

Where ever he is right now, I know he is in a better place than the rest of us.

I just want him to know that the years we were apart , he knew I loved him.

I still do love him and will continue to include him on my prayer of thanks that he was once

my uncle and my hero...

2009-01-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

In times of desolation:

This is for you:

For a Friend: A Prayer for Healing.

Dear Lord,

You know my friend M.O. so much better than I do. You know his sickness and the burden he carries. You also know his heart. Lord, I ask you to be with my friend now, working in his life.
Let your will be done in my friend's life. If there is a sin that needs to be confessed and forgiven, Lord, please help him to see his need and confess. Lord, I pray for my friend because your Word says I should pray for his healing. I believe you hear this earnest prayer from my heart and that it is powerful because of your promise. I have faith in you to heal my friend, but I also trust in the plan you have for his life. Lord, I don't always understand your ways, and why my friend has to suffer, but I trust you.
I ask that you look with mercy and grace toward my friend. Nourish his spirit and soul in this time of suffering and comfort him with your presence. Let my friend know you are there with him through this difficulty. And may you be glorified in his life and also in mine.
Amen

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
James 5:15-16 (NIV)

18 things...

2009-01-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

T he 18 things that make my life easier.

18)glasses
17)blue jeans
16)LV black sweats-my uniform on a night (lol)
15) cellphone
14) Laptop
13) microwave
12) my car
11)lotion
10)bread sticks
9)hot water and instant food...lol
8)setting lotion ( my hair is a mistake...i gotta live with this perm!!!)
7)leather sandals or my leather cowhide boots :P
6)silver havaianas
5)sincere friends
4)family
3)Geo
2)rosary
1)My Daily bread by :Father Anthony Paone or my mini Bible.

Drawing Near to God

2009-01-28T09:53:00.001-08:00

Psalm 73:28," But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works."---

God's love sent in perfection and through her heart.

2009-01-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

This is COURAGE.

Now , how can she do these if she was alone and so human and without the grace of GOD?

I can give you 10 names of people who died defending God and His existence and had spent their life giving it away just to serve God.

while name 1 unbeliever who died defending that God never exist ? or name 1 intellectual who claimed that Jesus was just a messenger, Just 1 intellectual who found deep joy in the company of the sick and the dying and had profoundly love on human beingS not those cute cool ones but the dirty poor ones?

anyone? :)

Jesus' Mercy is boundless, endless and unending.
all we need to do is humble ourselves ... and truly have that LASTING peace of the heart.

Jesus said:
" love one another. He didn't say love the whole world. "

God's Grace to Love... (part 1)

2009-01-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

O ne who has faith can never explain on a human tongue on how he experiences God in his life to a non believer. No proof, reason or rationalization can ever be enough. The only thing that preventing them to be ravages or to denounce the idea of crashing each other's chest is Love
( discipleship) but can you guess who gives the most enduring love among the two?

I thought so too. :)

....the endurance of darkness is preparation for great light.

St. John of the Cross

" YOU CAN NEVER LEARN TO LOVE GOD WITH EGO,
thus not really
knowing what True love is all about.

Have a blessed and full of love weekend to all of you.

Happy New Year !

2009-01-03T03:15:00.000-08:00

I t's 2 days after new years but better late than never!
New year,new hope, new task to accomplish, new love to commit!

I am smiling today as I woke up , I was sober and not quite full from over eating.
I just feel great for no apparent reason. The weather was colder than usual but the our home was warm as it has been.

My smile wasn't because I have a new love or a new interest but it was the inner joy I had the night before, Just being alive and sharing my family's life and I belong with good people.

Good food!

( Smiles )
Reminder for me :
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
Author: Martin Luther King Jr.

What is a Prayer

2008-12-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

P rayer - Most commonly known as conversations with God. To petition of solicit help from supernatural being, or To humbly beg a person for help or aid or their time or just an occasion to talk to God.
“a Prayer to the Lord” or Adoration or contrition or most importantly a form of thanks giving.

What does prayer mean to you?

As I began my search, I have never questioned the existence why we need to pray. I guess this is because I have known it all my life. I grew , I breathe with prayers. As far as I can remember , I was very young and i had a habit of peeking at my great granny’s room, that rosy scent i couldn't resist every time i pass by her room. There she sits on a culumpio as we call it( a rocking chair) with candles lighted on the altar. As I try to snoop again on what she was doing, She had a thick book on her lap (bible) and the long wooden rosary beads hanging from her left hand.

To me it was one of the magical moment when I see her face so intensely detached to the world. Her soulful eyes glued to the image of Christ while she sits and murmuring spanish prayers which I didn’t quite understand at that time.

As far as I can remember, My grandma Conchita was more of a dictator when it comes to praying, and it was unlikely that her mother which was born on some Spanish/Japanese era was more understanding or should I say more subjective when it comes to praying. To think she was born and raised in a very conservative family.

There was something about her that was so special that even the protestant and the Mormons in our neighborhood respected her and had seek her council every time they were in distress or in trouble.

In short, My great Grandma wants us to discover on our own why prayer is indeed important and showing us the value of it through silent gestures and practices, to be always consistent of the teaching and putting it all in action , she was therefore teaching us even when she remained silent and meek.

This didn’t sink in to me but just a few years ago , when I began to recall the history of my family.

Why my family was so different from the families I have known and why Prayer was so connected to loving. It was an important factor to us.
Having been born in a Catholic family , Praying has played a big part of our life's celebration. It is an occasion for all of us to be together. Somehow, I realize it is something that actually bonded us , molded us as a family especially on those trying times. I just couldn't explain the real mystical factor of praying. Just recently our family has again witnessed the power of sincere , unselfish motives of praying that saved a life of loved one. Every time i remember this incident. I just fill up the my bucket with so much gratefulness , another witness to a promise.

Prayers are not answered right away, God is so hard to understand sometimes but how can we doubt when the very existence od our being is because of God.

As I continue to define the meaning of praying , this is the most simple meaning that I have come up.

Straight from my heart's definition:
Prayer is the place of admitting our NEED,and adopting humility even when it’s the hardest thing to do, and claiming DEPENDENCE upon GOD. The perfect time to be intimate with GOD.

One authour says: "God isn't like an giant aspirin: Take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain"

Well, In my point of view, It isn’t that we do not experience pain anymore. How can one NOT experience pain especially when we begin to be human again and when we love?
So how should we pray? We live in a fallen, sinful world and we know that God does not promise to give us everything we want or to keep us from all suffering. In fact, the Bible tells us, "In this world you will have tribulation."¹
So effective prayer is not a lucky charm to gain special favors. Neither is it a painkiller like a giant aspirin: "Take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain!" as John Powell put it. But even though we can't always get the answer we want at the moment we want it, God wants His children to communicate our desires to Him. "Prayer is communicating our heart to God."

So how does prayer grow INTO you and me? It does. How ? Examine yourself:

Do you have patience? , do you have Prudence?, Justice? Temperance? Courage? Faith?, Hope? And most of all Genuine love? Note, I added the word “genuine” because a lot of people lip service love, ( because it’s easy to say and it makes them look good when they say it)

Ok before I digress, let me just ask you this? If you have those virtues working on your daily life then prayers are helping you achieve it. Slowly transforming you and letting God work on you.
This may even take a life time process but then how will you be able to explain the strength of the lives of the saints and maryrs? What was common on their daily task ? What makes them strong? What sets them apart from all of us? What sets them apart from the non believers? it IS the

CONSTANT SUPPLY of
COURAGE to LOVE!

1Peter 4:12:

"Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you. But to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing." And verse 19 says: "Let those who suffer ... entrust their souls to a faithful Creator. . ."

James 5:13: "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray."

As one of the book of Thomas Greens’s “When the well runs dry” and "Opening to God." He mentioned about the books of St. Teresa of Avila ( Union with God )and the “ The Cloud of Unknowing” by an anonymous english monk .The books of St. John the Cross," Dark nights of the soul"

These books speaks of a deeper faith and how prayers has played a big part of the transformation of the the heart. When one is able to get it without further explanation and knowledge of the world.

" Opening to God "

Epilogue

"The image I often use is that of a father and his year-old child. The baby has learned how to crawl, and become a very skilled crawler. Then one day the father decides to carry the baby for a walk. Suddenly the baby sees the world from the father's shoulders and moves with the speed of his father's speed. When they return home, the father puts the baby down on the floor again, and the baby is frustrated because he can only crawl. Now he knows something better is possible, and crawling is no longer satisfying.

It is like that in the early stages of our life in prayer. When we begin to make progress, it is not because we have learned to walk, but because God is carrying us. Like the baby, however, we tend to think we have really accomplished something ourselves.

Prayer becomes a joy and our faults disappear, and we think we have really learnt to walk, but the reality is that our faults have not been eliminated, but merely temporarily masked by God's grace. And when he sets us down again, prayer becomes difficult, and our failings return, and we find ourselves frustrated."

The Cloud of Unknowing :

"Our intense need to understand will always be a powerful stumbling block to our attempts to reach God in simple love [...] and must always be overcome. For if you do not overcome this need to understand, it will undermine your quest. It will replace the darkness which you have pierced to reach God with clear images of something which, however good, however beautiful, however Godlike, is not God."

"And so I urge you, go after experience rather than knowledge. On account of pride, knowledge may often deceive you, but this gentle, loving affection will not deceive you. Knowledge tends to breed conceit, but love builds. Knowledge is full of labor, but love, full of rest."

Finding this book has been one of my best searches: ( Thank you)

Beginners do not quite understand it, I was once a beginner, still consider myself a neophyte but moving up to another level which I didn’t understand. It was a phase when I felt God wasn’t listening. God is hiding or I felt I was being punished for the sins I have done and he suddenly he stop listening…

For many years, until now .still searching but the biggest consolation is consolation itself…, Prayer is subjective and mystical, You can never describe it to another individual who has not experience it or somehow not craved for it. No explanation would ever be enough. It was well describe as Prayer is truly a mystery in ( Gabriel Marcel’s sense : Something we can not objectify and view from a distance because it is intensely personal and it involves our whole selves)and thus can be described as in a totally personal and subjective way .

Honestly , I continue on my ramblings but I just couldn’t explain that inner beauty of joy and when I found this book “ When The Well Runs Dry” How I wish I had read this years and years ago…but then I am starting to complain on wasted time of searching and finding nothing that satisfy the void within me and reading some useless books which only confirms that my thirst was ON for something more lasting, more loving , bluntly speaking to me to "never lose trust and just try and keep on trying" …I can not even contain the emotion that i feel when I realize how other people had been missing SO much when they try to resist THAT moment with God. God is never compromising and God is God, God chooses the time and just perfect timing.

The Books mentioned above made me realize that everything I have gone through has also been felt by an individual whom I call a well experience man of praye and was never free of struggle just as like myself. He has devoted most of his years praying and knowing God even when the well runs dry. It is also teaching the value of rest and Letting go by trusting God before any human promises. God uses human beings on A very enigmatic way so it makes it natural to the human eye but NOT on the human heart. JUST AN AMAZING FEELING OF BLESSEDNESS!

Reading the book of St. Teresa of Avila, made me love her all the more for explaining to me the journeys of knowing God through prayers, A truly humbling experience , how I wish I can be able to share to you the feeling of greatness upon how God sends you answer when you needed it and Knowing this good souls whom God had chosen to share HIS wisdom and had the ability to write their experiences transforming it into a witnessing faith, and inspiration for beginners like me , who is slowly moving up to a deeper level.

The answer did not come over night. It came almost 5 years of searching , the unquenched thirst for it. Unceasingly knocking night after night. Despair to desolation to consolation to renewal and change of heart.

But it was all worth the wait. I am now going to embark myself to a new learning …new phase of loving and knowing my creator.

Somehow, knowing all these has made me a bit scared in a way( human nature sets in again) because I know this involves responsibility and God is preparing me for something great, Not necessary a road less bumpy but the “ consistency of being brave to love and see Him even on the darkest hour of my soul.” I continue the search while I experience what Thomas Green is describing , but you know…things aren’t that scary as it use to be. The feeling of doom is somehow described as the dark side who wants to creep in from time to time because you are not guarded and the only way to be guarded is to be ever vigilant of your faith. "Praying" helps you store up inner goodness and light during times of weakness and temptations.

One of my fellow searcher had even mentioned that christianity needs prayer only to have something to hang on. Well the good news is We need something to hang onto. Praying doesn't teach us to lie or to curse our fellow human being, It infact teaches us to humble ourselves to NEED GOD other than that the purpose of prayer is not really praying but just a self centered prayer of asking. One needs to understand that prayer is all about communication to GOD. One of my greatest wisdom found on it is - always pray for TRUTH.

The truth can be scary even but nothing is a substitute to the Honesty on praying.

Whenever I have a problem, I try to acknowledge the problem but also ask God to show me the root cause and then help me do what I need to do to resolve it. Since most of our problems are the fruit of a deeper root, the presenting problem can often be a misleading symptom that avoids our real problem.
Sometimes I don't want to see the truth since it might be frightening or embarrassing so I tell God that I am willing to be made willing to see it—whatever it might be.

Whenever I have prayed this way, I have always had this prayer answered. Sometimes the answer comes quickly, other times slowly. takes even years and years, It usually depends on when I am ready to receive it.

I will try to talk about more about that spiritual tepidity I have experienced as soon as my emotion settles in.

Right now , I am in deeper inner joy of knowing and still pondering on the unknowing. I feel blessed.

How can you not LOVE AND FORGIVE?

Another Insight from Anthony DeStefano.

I thought of sharing this to many of my friends:

WHY DOESN'T GOD ANSWER MY PRAYER?

God doesn't always give us what we want, but there are some prayers God always say "yes" to

All over the world right now, people are asking the question: "why doesn't God answer me when I cry out to Him? How can we reconcile the idea of God who says " Ask , and it shall be given to you" With the fact that this same God often refuses to grant what we desire most?

There are requests God always say no to, no matter how earnestly we pray. For example, If a person wants to embezzle money from his job or commit adultery with a co-worker, God is not going to give any assistance. ( that doesn't mean the person who wants to pursue these things won't be successful anyway. God has given us the awesome gift of free choice, and that includes choice to do terrible things.)

Then there are the prayers God says no to for reasons that are not so obvious. There is an old expression that says, " God gives us what we need and not what we want" God is concerned about only our ULTIMATE good, which boils down to whether or not we make it to heaven. When we ask God to grant us something, He says yes or no based on what that decision. We we, and the people who are affected by us, be more likely to go to heaven or not?

But if God gives is only what we need and what is good for our spiritual growth, It follows thatthere are certain prayers God always says yes to! All one has to do is to look to the Bible, the writings of Christian theologians over the centuries, and the testimonies of thousands of people right now whose prayers are being answered. God loves to say yes to us. Not only to "small" prayers but to big , practical, and profound ones as well.

It's often the hardest to understand why God doesn't answer prayers that no necessarily sinful in nature: Why didn't God cure my mother's cancer? Why doesn't He get me a raise so i can pay my bills? Why doesn't He send me a boyfriend? Why did He make my son autistic?

God's will is inscrutable and to an extent we have to accept that BUT our suffering can sometimes be part of God's plan for us. That's why " God, please bring some good out of this bad situation." is one of the most powerful prayers in the universe.-- and that God always say yes to-- but it's also one of the toughest to pray. ( This could mean a total submittance and to him no matter what)

When were right in the middle of suffering, it's hard to calmly consider all the wonderful things that might lie in store for us in the future, That's why cliches like " look at the bright side" can be off putting.

But the expressions like these don't usually become cliches unless there is some truth to them Somewhere along the line, people noticed that bad things can give away good thing or even lead to them.

At it's corre, the question of how to transform suffering into happiness is a religious one. Ultimately, It is God alone who has the power to bring good out of bad.

TO be continued...

Yelling "Shooooooeeshhhhh!!!!"

2008-12-21T06:16:00.000-08:00

Ain't that a shoe attack? ( laugh out loud )

Yelling " This is a farewell kiss, you dog" in Arabic.

Bush ducked the shoes thrown in the middle of a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri- al Maliki.

Both shoes narrowly missed their target and thumped loudly against the wall behind the leaders (lol)

Searches...

2008-12-20T02:18:00.000-08:00

I happen to be searching on so many things lately. Work gets in the way and I digress.

But there is that deep thirst of knowledge or should I say not the knowledge coming from just a man who happens to be just blessed with a keen mind or good writing ability.

I want something , a confirmation , a wisdom and witnessing faith.

There were two searches , one is about the silent warfare and the other one is spiritual tepidity.

Saving the best for last...

2008-12-20T01:11:00.000-08:00

December 2008, Marks some breath taking changes in my life. We all do experience change from time to time but some transitions are just either amazing or decapitating.

I simply can not describe the journey but with the events happening in just one week is just too much for me to absorb. I didn't know what else to do...but Kneel down and stare at the face of the man I love. For awhile there was nothing coming out. Nothing.

I want to talk to him but I didn't know what will be the first thing to talk about. After a long dorky moments of stare , my knees got tired and I grabbed my bean bag and sat there for awhile, still staring at him. Searching for him.

It been the longest silence of my life.

I know my heart was overflowing but it wouldn't just come out. I felt the numbness and the blankness of my mind.

I got tired and slowly slouching and had closed my eyes. Yet picturing that face in my mind...hoping that he send me solace.
At that point where in I am almost in forty winks,drifting....

A loving thought came into me , "Your prayers has been answered, drink and be merry."

My eyes opened , confused on whether I was dreaming or not. Whether it was just my mind playing a trick on me, It didn't matter. However delivered to me, I knew He answered my prayers.

Something came up that week and I have been fervently praying for it for almost a year. Just that the timing wasn't so favorable to me.
But then, It is Gods ways when you expect him to be with you for some silly reason , He doesnt show up and when you least expected his presence , He shows up. Just proved to be that God is just around the corner, making us want him even if he hides his face sometimes and just doesn't give us confirmation of his presence. BUT -
who am i to complain? I just feel blessed and loved in spite of my being stubborn and selfish.

and so I began to thank him, even if I had a heavy heart, sorta mix emotions. "I knew you would but I just need to wait...right?" How can i doubt again." I said.

(well i did...but just confused why ALL of these now?....)

Suddenly I had to remind myself. "He is God and he choose the time not you. All you need to do is just follow."

Somehow along the things happened to me I have experience the sudden surge of flowing water in my heart.
Some are sad endings and some are overly beautiful events. That no matter how other people are convinced that God does not exists....a totally opposite of all the things happening to me....just made known to me and my family that God remains to be a mystery but very much ALIVE and truly loving, inviting us everyday to know Him.

In the next pages of my blog, I will try to talk about it.

The ultimate lesson I have learned is that , God might have other things for you not equally alike of what you have always expected but When there is a complete dependence on Him, a surrender, That inner peace stays and the worries slowly drifts away, there is still uncertainty of events but the somehow there is the strong definition of God's unending invitation to know him as God of love and mercy.

Life's little lessons

2008-12-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

2008-09-21T07:35:00.001-07:00

Lasting Friendship.

2008-09-18T05:42:00.001-07:00

On my journeys to the unknown , I know I was meant for something. Still discovering it while it continues to unfold the mystery but i am slowly peeking in. It is hard sometimes to understand and when your faith is struggling.

The truth is out but somehow it is so hard to believe when nothing seems to work out. The rain keeps on pouring without resting.
There were questions as to "why DO you allow this to happen ? Haven't I loved enough?" and all other questions in my mind and heart. A courage I have to muster and DARED asked them all.

"I am human and very limited , rescue me!, if there is really YOU who they claim to be mighty and all loving"
I weeped and weeped until not a tear was left inside and and bit by bit I drifted to slumber,deep, deep and gone.

Our lives are full of uncertainties but you can't say " you can't" or you can't be all involved" hiding yourself from people neither over exposing your presence just to cover up the void and the fear of loneliness.

We need to accept that solitude is a blessing too and somewhere along that experience we also began to seek the feeling of being wanted and being accepted for what we really are , and for what we are not. We need to connect as well as to disconnect in order to give us time and space to be empty and continue to unload, ( or as they say "to reformat", NOT becoming full of ourselves. To renew "US" that only when we are happy with ourselves then we become better companions to others.

But at times, Fear creeps in and we become confuse, withdrawn and worst , we become indifferent. The fear of getting hurt ... while we love...
Feeling and thinking too much, But this is how we are. Very human. So imperfect and always in search.

I often wonder now how I am able to carry my load. I just happen to know it in my heart that THESE doesn't come just from me but from the Higher spirit within myself whom I ALLOWED to enter into my soul. The friendship that I have always wanted. If I am able to nurture a deep friendship with my fellow human how much more with my creator. It is a process and its slow, for me to savor the sweetness of his LOVE. A pathway that I must follow so I wont forget.

In some years of wandering I can not see , I coudn't touch and the early formative years , I couldn't feel yet, but then my longing is stronger, WHO can I turn to? My deep longing was so intense that one day my soul was finally awake on my way there.....

Now I am starting to see God in all the beautiful good souls in my lifetime. I can now touch God through seeing and touching the faces of the people I love. I feel HIM every time I am being loved. Suffering will always be around but it isn't lingering feeling of doom anymore and it isn't as lonely as it use to be.

I got this friend already. :)

Life is still beautiful and God is within us. We all have to let him be with us even if he remains silent at times.
He wants us to seek more and crave for it and the union will be just sweet and lasting.

I am hopeful that he will put everything in place for me. I will continue the journey and the great friendship I cultivate until the day I part from this world.

God is amazing, HE waits til you let Him inside you. We give him full consent to move us, touch us and to love us. ALL we need to do is say, YES and he would take care of the rest.

God , I owe you everything. Thank you for the life, The friendship and for choosing me.

Night prayer:

My Friend and companion Jesus,
Teach me everyday to rely only to you and not on my earthly friends...
They too are limited and not perfect.
They have many things to deal with everyday and some of them are not ready to love me.
Teach and send me your grace to understand what i can not, seek your consolation in times of adversity and confusion.

May I be stronger not to fall for the snare of loneliness and greed.
Selfishness for my own benefits and paranoia for the sake of control.

I would never want to be separated from you, please remind me if I am beginning to digress, when i become complacent and when i become lazy.

May I see your the reality of your work and not to take them for granted just because it doesn't coincide with my plan and my taste.

Guide me kind divine spirit to discern and to love inspite of ...and when to LET GO.
2:am Sept.18.08

My distant feet.

2008-09-18T05:42:00.000-07:00

Distance feet- usually means the conversions such as kilometer to mile, meters to yards, centimeters to inches, millimeters to inches etc.

or it could also mean distance and to locate a development close to transit. Or should i say a walking distance from a point to destination............or whatever!

I have basically lived from a distance and had been distant in away with a lot of things in my life.
Basically, the last 5 years of my existence has had several surprising transitions and I had to do my fair share of adjustments to cope up . A lot of awakenings and a lot growing up to do. I realized that i think this is such an ending ordeal but the only good thing i discovered about myself is that i never forget how a little child feels like every time i am being loved or to say the least , given importance on a particular time. It's like i am being transported to my happy childhood. Although, it wasn't perfect. I was an only child for 15 years, my parents had showered me with so much love and contentment that i carry it with me until this age.

yes, I had my worries back then but nothing that wouldn't be healed whenever my mother would appreciate the little nice things i did for the day and how her assurance of love had made me complete when i was growing up.

My mom hugs me all night...that it kind of bothered me for awhile when i was growing up There were times it was tight and sometimes i felt smothered. I didn't realize that all these years , it made a very good impact in my life..
Hugging stimulates the strange flows, activating the body's capacity for joy! even on difficult times , another form of a blessing and coping up.

It's weird but i am starting to know more about myself everyday from the sad, the painful to the happiest moments of my life.

That assurance of love from my God given parents had instantly healed my weary soul and had me get up on my knees and fight and continue. Struggles wasn't new to me. I slowly had accepted that in this life we continue our journey even if there are crooked bumpy roads, you never stop. You just have to keep on going until you finally reach there where ever that maybe... I am sure you're heart would recognize it when its finally there...

Don't get me wrong...but I would still describe this place a little taste of heaven while on earth, still alive , breathing and having my cup of tea while watching my flower garden from a distant .
Welcome to my page.

I am not a good writer but i think i absorb pretty well.
a good listener, and I try to be sensitive when i need to. I try to empty myself when i have to so to able to take in and and give back.
Here is one of my favorite poems:

* * * *

Hope

by Brian Quinn

When all about you is black with gloom,
And all you feel is pending doom.
When your bones are racked with grim despair -
When every breath is a gasp for air.
Keep on going, though you need to grope,
For around the bend is a ray of hope.

A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
As your will to live has been bereft.
You've lost it all, it's just no use!
You can end it all, you need no excuse.
But throw away that piece of rope,
And give yourself a chance of hope.

Just give yourself another day,
Brushing aside what your thoughts may say.
This is your life and you can make a new start,
By ignoring the brain - just follow the heart.
Taking baby steps in order to cope,
And minute by minute you'll build on your hope.

Build on your hope,. one day at a time,
Though the road be steep and hard to climb.
The hurts of the past - they should be dead.
The fears of the future are all in your head.
Just live in the present and refuse to mope
Your life will sparkle for you're living in hope.